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Oh, these long and many years have I waited for your
return, my beloved.
My hair has grown grey,
and my face is no longer the face you saw
when you said to me, "My King has called,
and I must go. For Pharaoh, for Egypt, and for love of you I
shall fight,
and when the fighting is done, I shall return to you, my
beloved.
By all the Gods I swear this!"
But your vow was empty, for you never returned.
How lonely our home has been without you in it.
Its walls are cold and barren for loss of you.
They do not echo with your strong, happy voice,
they never heard the laughter of our children,
who never were.
How many nights did I lay awake,
thinking every sound was your approach,
that you would step through the door,
take me in your solid arms and kiss away my tears
with promises that you'd never leave me again.
But those tears continued to fall,
and they have scarred my face,
leaving lines of age and bitter sadness
where before my skin was fresh and flawless
and glowed with the warmth of youth.
But now I am old and ugly and you would not want me
if by some miracle of the Gods you happened to walk through
my door this night.
Why did you leave?
Was I not good enough for you?
Were my breasts not firm enough for you?
My kisses not fiery enough?
Did I not keep your house well enough,
or cook the right foods for you?
Why couldn't you have refused the call of the Pharaoh
and stayed by my side?
And what kept you so far from me all these years?
Did you fall under some Hittite's spear,
your blood pouring out onto the hard, dry earth?
(Earth that is like my flesh is now.)
Or did some lovely, dark-eyed girl catch your heart,
like a bird in a net, making you say,
"Who is Sennuwy that I should remember her?
Who is Sennuwy that I should return to her?
It is you I want to take in my arms,
and cover with my kisses.
You I want to bear my children,
and live happily with the rest of my days!"
I do not know which of these it may be
- or perhaps something else entirely -
the Gods know I have spent many nights wondering -
and now, I do not care.
I am old and weary of life,
and long only to make my journey West.
The years have not been kind to me -
but the cruelest thing that ever happened
was when you left me, my beloved.
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