Closets are for Clothes

I recognize that not everyone has the luxury of being an out and proud Pagan, and indeed, your situation may make it unpleasant or impossible to be such. If you're a teen-ager living in a Fundamentalist Christian home, maybe you should keep that Pentagram tucked safely under your shirt, or wait to study Wicca until you are out of your parents' home. It's been around for 23,000 years (snicker), it will still be there when you're ready, I assure you. And if you are going through a messy divorce, and don't want to lose custody of your kids - chances are you might not want to wear your "My Goddess Gave Birth to Your God" T-shirt to court. Just a suggestion, of course. Do what you feel is right. But when your security, job, and life are not threatened - and sometimes even when they are - I think it's important to be honest and open about who we are, and what we believe. There are many reasons for this. To begin with, things will never change if we stay in the shadows. We have to let people see who we are, see that we are just like they are, see that we don't have fangs or green skin or have designs on their children. Until they have faces to put with the names, we will forever remain the Other - and the Other is always frightening. Visibility is also important to us. A lonely, frightened kid may see you and draw strength from the knowledge that there are other people out there like him, and be able to go on as a result, even if his life is hell right now. Further, we live in a Democratic Republic, and in such a place, if you don't have numbers, you don't have a voice. The Christian Right recognized this fact in the 1970s and 80s and formed strong political organizations to lobby and make sure that their voice was heard. Unless we are willing to stand up and be counted, to take part in the politics of our Country - our voice will never be heard, and that is a shame, because we have a great many things to say. Another reason - and really, it is the only reason for coming out - is that a failure to do so is a denial of a fundamental part of who we are. Man is a whole, comprised of many parts, and whenever those parts are denied, hidden, suppressed, or left unvalued, the whole is diminished. That diminishment is like an illness, and the more that we feed it with our fear and our self-hatred, the stronger the illness becomes, until it has consumed our soul and left us spiritually dead, a mere shell of our true selves. Instead, by acknowledging ourselves, honoring our various parts, feeding them with love and nurturing them with pride, we become a stronger, happier, more complete and whole person. People who come out - regardless of what they are coming out from - describe a sense of euphoria, of an intense weight being lifted off of them. They don't have to worry about being found out. They are now able to explore and celebrate that part of themselves. Of course, it's not always easy being out. There is so much misunderstanding in our world, hatred, violence, and ignorance. People losing their jobs, their friends and families. People whose businesses are destroyed, whose children are taken from them. In the face of all this - and the uncertainty that comes with trying to explain it to family members - the closet might look very appealing. But who ever said that life would be easy? Indeed, we must always struggle and suffer for the things that are most important to us. Things that are just handed to us never have the same value as the things that we earn through adversity. So yes, it is hard. But it is also worth it! And maybe your struggle will make it easier for those who follow. And one last thing. Being an out and proud Pagan means discovering who you are. It doesn't mean that you have to have a funny hair-style, multiple piercings, a giant silver pentagram, a catchy T-shirt, dozens of Pagan and political buttons, Ren faire dresses, and that you talk to your cat as if it were your familiar. It's fine if that's who you are. But someone in a Brooks Bros. suit is just as much a Pagan as the person advertising it everywhere. Being a Pagan is something on the inside; it's a way of life. And the more diverse our community is - the wider base of lifestyles, backgrounds, political affiliations, theological understandings we embrace - the stronger we will be. So be your own Pagan, whatever that is, and as the song goes, leave behind your closets and "come and play, come and play."